the Judas syndrome
"...then all his disciples abandoned him."
-Mt. 26:56

i. the accursed

been screwed so much
a hole's drilled in my heart;
no sex, no pleasure
just the after-flow of betrayal:
the fixed rejection
the denial of worth
the nauseating vomit
the emotional blank

ii. the accused

we smile and swallow hard
locking into emptied bellies
awaiting the day when all's released
when the canvas of our lives
reveals the red of our heart
the blue of our soul
our purpling passion
a flaming desire
cooking within our heated bile
simmering toward revenge and violence
saying, "Fuck you!', then moving on;
buying a gun to blow the mothers apart
miters and balls, "for the love of God"
as they abandoned us, "for the love of God"
clothed us in bars, stripped of grace
assigned to hell, burying our souls
in their stock-piles of waste, for the love of God

thus they betrayed Him, for the love of God
those righteous Judas-children, lovers of God



*No artist is ahead of his time. He is his time. It is just that the others are behind the time.
-Martha Graham


*Don't accept your dogs admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers


*Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education; they grow there, firm as weeds among rocks.
-Unknown