my heart sits

heavy  

tons of life

pulling

into earth

waiting

the crush

of my body

wanting freedom

to grow

*Wherever you are, I'll be there, sometime, after you.

*Reflections of Frederick Buechner:

-...as  in every human enterprise, there is a good deal of self in it too - the lure of adventure, of becoming known as the kind of person who does interesting things, and so on - but of course most of them know this perfectly well themselves, and yet they follow along anyway because the voice that we hear over our shoulders never says, "First be sure that your motives are pure and selfless and then follow me."

-So when later on the voice says, "Take up your cross and follow me," at least part of what is meant by "cross" is our realization that we are seldom any less than nine parts fake.

-He (Jesus) is the one we are free to follow or not to follow, the one we begin to know fully only by following.  As we follow, we become, such as we are, his church, which is to say his body - a weak thing in most ways, half-hearted and of little faith, but full of hope for all that - and the only body that he has in this world, the only hands and feet to do his work.  And such is this power that even through us others may be led to follow too.