-Dr.Janet Foy
vulva-butt
whose girl was i
acting out some secret ritual game
'tween boys learning to be "men"
was i some booty-prize
a boy pulled into a marriage bed
for rites deflowering a "girl"
an object of lust
was i a vulva-butt opened and explored
a descending shadow of ghosts our fathers knew
the reflection of rapes our mothers fought
i'm a pierced and broken vessel
unwelcome liaisons spinning in my head
i long the bandaging of my fractured self
sitting near empty and confusion filled
with cold hardness and deadening pain
my wounds of character seek relief
what seeps, seeps trough in silence
a search revealing losses of the past
sex an escape from mem'ries now tainted
nakedness rushing to reclaim my ass
who besides me must i forgive
bundled in abuse before denying eyes
stalked by demons battling in my chest
somewhere on this path farewell must be said
and embrace the suff'ring that is seasoning for the soul
*Thoughts of Alan Jones:
-To live our life from the point of view of our death is not necessarily a capitulation to despair, to withdrawal, to passivity. Rather, it can become the basis for our being and doing in the world. The more we refuse to look at our own death, the more we repress and deny new possibilities of living. We are all going to die, and our life is a movement to that sure end. Believers find that meditation on this simple fact has a wonderful way of clearing the mind! It enables them to live every single moment with new appreciation and delight. When I say to myself, "This moment may be my last," I am able to see the world with new eyes.
-The desert way of believing relieves us of having to lie about anything, especially about suffering and death. Real hope cannot be based on sham or sentimentality. I don't know why it is, but there are some things that cannot be learned apart form suffering.
-Sometimes we suffer not individually but collectively.
-We live and we die together.
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