fractured selves

part of me wishes i were not what i am
but who can remake oneself in the womb
or tomb or from wherever humans climb?

i drag myself nervously toward death because
there is a cave  in me where goblins fly
a hole where butterflies would rather be

each hidden in my face, in my soul
behind the smiles that block some waiting tears.
i walk on, struggling with the secrets of life

the secrets crawling tween the day and night of me
tween the lifting of hosts and the distribution of bread
tween hello and goodbye to the many years passing

through the door to my room, that chamber of delights.
but i must carry on till death in hope that change will come
that i'll move nearer a wish than i could ever wish to be

broken as i am, broken like the shards of human vessels
struggling with their fractured selves in this pit of tears
waiting for God to arrive to claim then as his own.