It's ME back there 

Why do I look at you

knowing I'll never meet you

or speak you?

I look 'cause I've searched for some likeness

some flashback of myself lost in imaginings

some flesh-investing union

a wish

some hope or dream

some treasure worth probing for.

Mine's a focused glance.

This flirtation with your face

a scene exciting to view

to want

to touch

cause it's Me back there

quizzical and quiv'ring

a fractured wisp

an exhausted effort

a nagging perception

a quester filling empty

with the Why behind past moments

to find a reason for them all

to find the repressed truth

slipping past awakening

some fragment from it all.

It's the missed experience

returning for its due

as nature predestined

always predestines

pursuing the absent

via shadows in our lives.

For I'm there somewhere

somewhere

and I want to be found. 

*"Stories we tell ourselves about what is happening to us are dangerous because they are powerful," he [Arthur Frank] has written.  "We have to choose carefully which stories to live with, which to use to answer the question of what is happening to us."

In Genesis Jacob wrestles with the stranger, whom Frank imagines to be Jacob's own nature, his divided self.  "Jacob has to decide which side of him will prevail, the servant of God or his dark twin, the trickster."  In the struggle "Jacob wins not by defeating his darker side, but by realizing that the other he is contesting shares the face of God.  Jacob does not overcome his opponent: instead, he finds divinity in him."  The struggle ends as "the sun rose upon him and he halted upon his thigh." The end of the struggle, but not the end of the story.  Wounded, Jacob becomes whole.  Whole, he is renamed. For Arthur, "this is what it is to be ill: to wrestle through the long night, injured, and if you prevail until the sun rises to receive a blessing."

-Bill Moyers