i'm in a hole beneath this earth

my sissified stance following me

ev'ry bit of failure i find

within my sissy-self

Christ shoves me toward the hill

where i haven't the guts to spill

to walk mightily in his footsteps

boldly through his blood

where i enter the earth to bury my struggles

i trip o'er Christ's nails and pleas

take me far away from the Three Days of darkness

take me far from the Three Blind Nights

i hate to walk with the cross askew

i wish springs would pour o'er my feet

bearing within my bosom as in a sack

i stumble along the road to life

with fragments of evil

a lust for blood

a taste for liberation

the fruits of the Curse

but what do i want?

is it here in the baggage of time;

the dream of my fathers' enslaver:

to be a master, to direct a life;

to trust a God nearer than a breath?

i sweat as if i weren't a broken vessel

leaking and seeping at the seams

earthworms nibbling at my feet

death enclosing the hole

with Death i descend into the pit

Life gathering me into its folds