*Satisfaction

nothing

satisfies

nothing else

-Jerry Schroeder, Cap.

blue taffeta

covering herself neath blue taffeta

laying upon her quilted bed

she dreamt herself a Mary

a virgin announced to by God

but no Gabriel stood at her side

to view her available or decide

so she shivered herself into a tsunami

till common-sense reoccupied her mind

*God created through love and for love.  God did not create anything except love itself, and the means to love.  God created love in all its forms.  God created beings capable of love in all its forms.  God created beings capable of love from all possible distances.  Because no other could do it, God himself went to the greatest possible distance, the infinite distance.  This infinite distance between God and God, this supreme tearing apart, this agony beyond all others, this marvel of love, is the crucifixion.  Nothing can be further from God than that which has been made accursed.

This tearing apart, over which supreme love places the bond of supreme union, echoes perpetually across the universe in the midst of the silence, like two notes, separate yet melting into one, like pure and heart-rending harmony.  This is the Word of God.  The whole creation is nothing but its vibration.  When human music in its greatest purity pierces our soul, this  is what we hear through it.  When we have learned to hear the silence, this is what we grasp more distinctly through it.

-Simone Weil

I feel the isolation of God
barred behind head-trips
definitions and words
caught and left hanging
like some game
strung and gutted
dressed to be roasted
as if understood
deciphered like a code
interpreted by the few

God would be mad
sitting in solitaire
if God weren't so creative
imaginative enough
to dream of freedom
escape and union

God's inventive

God's Spirit slips through bars
with a smile-brightening life
no sun can block

Death doesn't frighten God

Having outlived every effort
God hangs on

God's resilient
and I wish I were

Perhaps I'd learn something
hanging by Gods' side

God spoke one Word
and our feelings are mixed
accepting It

I say
I know how God feels 
but who knows but God's Spirit
even when served in chocolate shells
with a creamy center



I needed this time to be "Me", simply Me, with my Self, by myself with the dust, the ants within this room, wrapped in the furniture, caught by the bed,  naked, with  tiredness as a companion and the phone able to listen to itself, without me as its slave, its lover, for once.  Even the sounds of the day don't matter.  They talk with themselves without my ears as receptors to their chatter, disturbance to my soul. I am simply here from light to dark, with my light and dark, from one night to the next to another day, perhaps.  The time is mine to waste, relish, enjoy, love, disturb, be.  Thank God - and me for being this wise: to recognize our need and relish it.

Letting go

Old sperm

I see my sperm lying still upon stale urine
and I know that I am old

They longed to live like beer-foam
fluffing up for nothing

I stare at their attempt to maintain hope
then flush them away gently



...sex, that cursed gift from God
-ken stewart

pf

how could we ever love each other
with ten-foot circles encasing our minds

forever in a danger zone
we bumped each other at the edges of our circular rounds

smiling at distances wider than sewage bins
we couldn't feed from the garbage
pigs gobbled in our heads

some wonder how some went astray
the sexual roaming beneath their skin

we starved for the human, the scents of flesh
an occasional embrace, conversations without suspect

a pat on the back and dialogues on love
would have protected us for Jesus
as we were crucifying the flesh

but we killed him while trying to discover ourselves
keeping him good and dead within circles build around shame



The risk with prayer is that God may answer me, giving me what I need instead of what I want.  God may take me where I would not go but only to where I can go and do what I can do.

Prayer is profoundly dangerous and revolutionary.   It can change me, killing what is not true about me so that I may be truly myself.